To My Dearest Sister Heidi,
Now that ANTM Cycle 3.14 has wrapped, I’ve had a few moments to catch up on Project Runway. I really, really appreciate the stunning conceptual designs and all, but as for you and your judgmental ways, Klum, they are one big, hot, messed-up mess, girlfriend!!!
Listen, Heidi, I totally get that you landed the hostess part for your looks, and not for your wisdom or ability to pronounce words that begin with R. But let’s get real, you and your fellow judges are down-right nasty to those poor designers! You and that old lesbian Michael Kors laugh wickedly at the contestants even as you critique them so harshly.
Those clothing designers are fragile souls, and still you choose to shatter their fragility even more with your producer-approved snarkiness. Do you even get how hard it is to sketch and sew a black-leather sweater-vest? Or how difficult it is to make something from Macy’s look good? I didn’t think so. I mean, look at you. Only thing you know how to make is a littler nose. Oh, snap!
I would wecommend you focus on how to pronounce Project Wunway, as well as how to treat your designers with more care and grace. Don’t you watch the parts of your show with Tim Gunn?
Anyways, I stand here before you, asking you to consider showing the kind of compassion we put on display at the CW. I believe we, as uber-super-models, have the really unique ability to improve lives and spread knowledge to those less fortunate than ourselves. When we share our experiences, Heidi, then we share our love.
See you at fashion week, gorgeous. ; )
Hugs & Bulimia,