MEMO to the Grand Old Phonies:

April 6, 2010 at 2:26 am (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers, Politics) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

MEMO

Attn: G.O.P.

Um, Conservatives?  We understand that when any politician, or political commentator speaks, there’s a good chance that he or she is talking out of both sides of his or her mouth (or his or her ass, for that matter).  But you lying, scheming douches have lost all shame, and frankly, you’ve gotten really, really bad at spewing your searing bullshit.

Are you not even paying attention to what you’re saying or doing anymore?

Let’s cover some talking points, shall we?

1).  You don’t get to claim that Republicans are the party of “Family Values” when your most vocal leaders are a drug-addled former DJ (Rush Limbaugh), an opportunistic-hungry former Governor who got knocked-up before getting married (Sarah Palin), and the right-hand men of Lucifer himself (Dick Cheney & Karl Rove).

Republican folks don’t make up the party of values; they’re the folks who value bondage parties!  They’re not any more Pro-Life than Democrats, despite their constant wailing to the contrary, considering more abortions are actually done annually in Red States.  And the percentage of divorces among conservatives is just as high as it is with liberals; which just proves the point that marriage is an equal-opportunity failure, regardless of which box you ink.

And unless Hate is a family value, then the GOP is full of bologny here, too.  You cannot claim to love America when you despise more than half of Americans living here, including liberals and gays.  Hell, your previous RNC Chairs (Ken Mehlman) were a closeted homosexual and (Michael Steele) a closeted Muppet, but that’s an argument for another day…

2).  You don’t get to claim that you’re a big believer in “letting the free-market decide” when your last “leaders” (Bush & Cheney) initiated under Hank Paulson the largest financial bail-out in the history of the United States.  And don’t pretend for a second to be supportive and behind average, hard-working Americans; unless you’re counting sneaking up behind them to screw them out of their pensions and benefits!

3).  You don’t get to claim that Republicans are aghast at the lack of bi-partisanship from Democrats, when the nano-second Obama won the Presidential election your people sent out a memo detailing a Scorched Earth Policy against every single thing Obama may want to try to accomplish.

4).  You don’t get to keep pretending you hate the “mainstream media” when Fox *News is the biggest tool you hypocrites have in your political shed!  The fact that Fox *News has been the most popular cable news channel since before George Bush had gray hair is a testament to just how truly mainstream they are.

5).  And you don’t get to claim that Hollywood is the enemy of America when the GOP’s biggest hero is a mediocre actor who worked for years in Hollywood, shitting out movies and sequels with an effing monkey!

Regardless of how much you dislike the liberals, you cheese-dicks are paid big-ass salaries to move America forward and to help the average American (not just the wealthy ones) achieve his or her dream.  So shut the F up and start doing some actual work!

Seriously, we – the people - are watching.

.

November Voters

45 Comments

  1. StTracy said,

    So righteous…. so righteous…

  2. FunPie said,

    On March 21, The United States Congress did what a majority of Democrats and President Barack Obama were swept into office to do. They passed health care reform. No one thinks it is a perfect bill. That is because, though it did not get bipartisan votes, it contains bipartisan ideas. It is an example of the kind of compromise that must be reached to get anything of that magnitude passed, and compromise on that scale, if done right, leaves everyone a little unhappy. Of course, the Republicans are pretending to be outraged by all of it and now, like petulant children, they are threatening to stop cooperating with democrats on anything. Not sure how that will be a change. To use the phrase “force health care on us” is ludicrous. No! Don’t make me have access to affordable medical coverage! Torture! If I want to be dropped by my insurance carrier in the middle of my chemotherapy because I lost my job after missing too many days because of my cancer, that’s my right!
    Republicans pretend to be opposed to taxes, but they are paid with our tax dollars, and they manage to vote (bipartisan) for a raise for themselves every chance they get. My tax dollars pay their $200,000 salary and excellent health benefits. My tax dollars helped put them in a tax bracket much higher than their legislation (or lack therof) has ever put me. In fact, their tax policy for the last 10, no, make that the last 30 years has set me back. If they want to earn $200,000 of my tax dollars for doing nothing, they should be fired.
    But I have to take a break from their rhetoric. Paying attention to their nuttiness, and more so, being enraged by it, only seems to add kerosene to their fire. If I don’t go on a Republican diet, I will have a brain hemorrhage before I turn 35. At least now I’d be able to see a doctor about that and not worry about losing my coverage, thanks to the democrats.

  3. Denise said,

    Awesome post, JD…you summed that up very well. I have nothing to add to that, snarky or otherwise.
    And it’s always nice to hear from The FunPie…..we’ve missed you. Hope all is well.

  4. Dave said,

    Great rant! Pretty funny too. I’m sickened by the present GOP, especially their tactic of fear mongering. They’re all a bunch of political terrorists: http://www.thinkersjam.com/fear-the-evil-left/

  5. demorick said,

    Love it…I couldn’t have ranted that better myself!

  6. bungerrman said,

    on your first talking point you forgot to mention the former alcoholic Beck, but overall great stuff.

  7. joe the nerd said,

    I like this.

    You are really on target.

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks Joe! That makes two of us.

  8. Brenda said,

    so true. Both sides need work but I truly believe that the next Presidential election will see the Republicans as a non entity. The teapartiers are going to split the party and their isn’t enough of them to carry two parties. It’s rather a shame too as when both parties work together, it really is better overall for the country.

    • jdrourke said,

      Brenda, I totally agree with you. There seems to have been a change in the GOP’s mindset; that somehow bi-partisanship is now a sign of weakness. But all that does is hurt our country. If both sides would truly work together, then things here would improve steadily.

      Keep checking in.

  9. Toni said,

    Just discovered you. I love your rants!

    • jdrourke said,

      Thank you so much! I’m honored to have you aboard.

  10. Who_Knew said,

    JD,

    Your letter to the repugs was spot on! Thanks for putting what the majority in America is feeling in such a wise and funny letter.

    I’ll keep watching for your stuff…

    Best wishes,

    A Fellow American

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks very much for the cool compliment! By all means, please keep checking in…

  11. nicolesdad said,

    wow. my thoughts exactly, but more eloquently put. just discovered your post. i will be going back and reading all your previous rants,

  12. elsie09 said,

    Ya pretty much nailed that one, J.D.

    Keep up the good work.

  13. WSCohen said,

    Excellent post! However, I must take exception to one small point. Dick Cheney is not Lucifer’s right hand man. Dick Cheney IS Lucifer.

  14. Pegs said,

    I saw your blog link on HuffPo just now (Sunday, 07-11-10) & decided to check it out.

    Glad I did, I like it & will hang around a bit to read more.

    I’m glad to see more & more people are calling out the Gang Of Pricks, holding them accountable & forcing them to run on their miserable records (even if it’s only in the Blogosphere – quite a bit of clout now).

    Keep up the good work. : )

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks very much, Pegs! For the love of all that is holy, keep checking in…

  15. linda said,

    Excellent. Although, you forgot to mention that truly “free markets” do not involve the taxpayers subsidizing any industry or corporation. The republican version of free markets = corporations are “free” to do harm to us any way they wish.

    • jdrourke said,

      Great point, Linda! Just one more solid example of their hypocrisy. Nicely done!

  16. schoolworks said,

    Are u an attorney? Your argument is so compelling!

  17. JustThinking said,

    Right on!

  18. Josef Richardson said,

    Right. On. The. Money.

    Every word here is irrefutable and should be canonized into the Constitution immediately.

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks very much, Josef! There have been far-too-many lies by the extreme right-wingers and we must constantly call them out on their B.S.

      Keep checking in and speaking up, brother!!

  19. PermaResi said,

    Just discovered this site through the HufPost. I love all the comments. I wish I could add anything to them but for now all I can do is read and enjoy. And I will.

  20. Ladyblug said,

    Just found site- love it and am passing it along. Great Rant!

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks very much, Ladyblug! Keep checking in and adding to the mix…

      -jd

  21. CuriousCat said,

    Nailed it, jd!!!! I’m sharing this with everyone I know between now and November 2nd. Thanks again.

  22. Diandra said,

    Agree 100%, love you and TOTALLY CO-SIGNED!

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks! Very glad to have you around! Hope you’ll keep checking in…

  23. cheesehed said,

    Excellent fulminating!

    We’re getting screwed over in Wisconsin right now by the idiot Republicans.

    • jdrourke said,

      You hang in there, Cheesehed! We’re going to drive Gov Walker nuts with endless badgering – I promise.

  24. Cheesehed said,

    Thanks, JD. Your support is much appreciated!

    You know, I live in a small town near Madison. The guy across the street teaches at the local high school. He and his wife have 2 small children under 3 — she stays at home with them. I feel so badly for them.

    It just makes me nuts to put all this on folks like this. It’s just wrong.

    • jdrourke said,

      It is wrong. Considering we – in the last 3 years – just bailed out thousands of Wall Street / banker types for illegal practices that cost American families tens-of-thousands of homes, and Americans billions in taxes, I find it pathetic that these corporate douches and their political errand boys are trying to attach our economic woes to teachers, unions, Planned Parenthood, and anything else that they personally don’t agree with.

      But they wanted a war, and now they’ve got one. Stay strong.

  25. Muddywood said,

    Lets do this one at a time:
    1). You don’t get to claim that Republicans are the party of “Family Values” when your most vocal leaders are a drug-addled former DJ (Rush Limbaugh), an opportunistic-hungry former Governor who got knocked-up before getting married (Sarah Palin), and the right-hand men of Lucifer himself (Dick Cheney & Karl Rove).

    We believe in striving for family values based on the Judeo-Christian model. We don’t just give up trying because it’s to hard and then when a neighbor stumbles point a finger and yell ‘HYPOCRITE”

    2). You don’t get to claim that you’re a big believer in “letting the free-market decide” when your last “leaders” (Bush & Cheney) initiated under Hank Paulson the largest financial bail-out in the history of the United States. And don’t pretend for a second to be supportive and behind average, hard-working Americans; unless you’re counting sneaking up behind them to screw them out of their pensions and benefits!
    >
    Question: Which party is more free market oriented?

    3). You don’t get to claim that Republicans are aghast at the lack of bi-partisanship from Democrats, when the nano-second Obama won the Presidential election your people sent out a memo detailing a Scorched Earth Policy against every single thing Obama may want to try to accomplish.

    The democrats did not need one GOP vote in order to pass their unpopular bills. They passed them …and payed the price last November

    4). You don’t get to keep pretending you hate the “mainstream media” when Fox *News is the biggest tool you hypocrites have in your political shed! The fact that Fox *News has been the most popular cable news channel since before George Bush had gray hair is a testament to just how truly mainstream they are.

    Fox News Leans Right — SURPRISE
    Now lets count the rest of the networks that lean left
    ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, CNBC, MSNBC.

    Yes Fox has the most viewers in cable news, but it’s because it’s THE ONLY place a conservative can get news WITHOUT a Leftist slant.
    Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, just know that when you add up the viewers of all the Left leaning cable channels, it adds up to just about Fox News’ totals. It’s pretty even
    People that actually watch CABLE news channels are pretty ideologically set in their ways.
    The idiots watch the networks.

    5). And you don’t get to claim that Hollywood is the enemy of America when the GOP’s biggest hero is a mediocre actor who worked for years in Hollywood, shitting out movies and sequels with an effing monkey!

    Really? Conservatives claim Reagan, Chuck Heston, Bo Derek and the newly converted Dennis Miller.
    You guys have about 80% that lean your way and support lefty causes.
    Be honest now.

    Regardless of how much you dislike the liberals, you cheese-dicks are paid big-ass salaries to move America forward and to help the average American (not just the wealthy ones) achieve his or her dream. So shut the F up and start doing some actual work.

    I don’t even know how to respond to that because it really makes no sense.
    Suggestion. Lay off the Chronic.

    Peace

    • jdrourke said,

      Hmm. I do not think I can help you, brother. You’ve swallowed a whole lot of the Kool-Aid.

      You do get props for referring to Charles Heston as Chuck, though.

      Later.

  26. SM said,

    Right wingers and baggers are destroying our nation. I hope today stands as the day we collectively decide not to stand for it any longer.

    To take a meme from them, “It’s time to take our country BACK!”

    • jdrourke said,

      You are totally right about this! I, for one, am done tolerating these anti-American hypocrites…

      Keep checking in, brother.

  27. Prayerewind said,

    I am not sure who the good guys and bad guys anymore, I just know the Dems and Republicans are so far off the mark on what our constitution was built on. First, let’s start at the top. It is obvious even to a third grader, the economy is in the tank. Dems blame the Republicans on the Bush era and the Republicans forgot what their status was until on the Tea Party movement.

    Here is the question that needs to be answered first. What is every one of these political politicians in Washington DC doing to cut spending in their inner circle? For crying out loud, they don’t even pay into Social Security, and have so many perks. I doubt if most of them even know how much a gallon of gas cost. They get a salary, government car, expense account, at least one intern to do most of their work. Let’s not forget how BIG PHARMA etc. got them elected and all the pay backs they promised to give back. Then they want to take more and more away from the middle class. Is there even a middle class anymore?

    It’s time Americans start asking questions and demand results. The good old boys club is worse than ever, living like they are a separate entity from all other American people. They want ALL THESE FUNDING CUTS BUT AT THE DROP OF A DIME, WE GET involved with every civil war on the planet funding other countries people when they don’t even have a leader to be held accountable for.

    What would a Congressman do if we went to D.C. and took their rights away, just like they just did to the average Joe in Wisconsin.

    The bottom line is all of Washington reminds me of coaching a team in little league with a parent they thinks their kid is the only player on the team. Grow Up Washington!

  28. undertheinfluence said,

    Good golly JD, I’m proud to have had you reply to my post on HP. You’re my new internet hero. Post this Memo everywhere. It’s really right on the mark!!

  29. Deadheadbrian said,

    “And you don’t get to claim that Hollywood is the enemy of America when the GOP’s biggest hero is a mediocre actor who worked for years in Hollywood, shitting out movies and sequels with an effing monkey!”

    Was this referring to Ronnie, Arnold, Clint, or Charlton? Or all of them?

    • JD Rourke said,

      It’s meant for that clown Reagan, but good for you pointing out all those other dudes it applies too, as well. Though I have to admit, we love Eastwood around here, big time – regardless of his politics. Peace.

  30. Milli Denney said,

    A H-U-G-E *AMEN* to JDR and all you sisters and brothers – with just one or two exceptions.

  31. Danny said,

    Never saw your blog till now. I’ve typed my fingers raw justifying Obama to the Righteous Right until I threw in the towel and just sat back reading the negative responses to my comments. I began to believe I was wrong. If so many people thought MY ideas and thoughts were hypocritical and wrong, maybe I needed to re-examine my ideals. Then you come along and reiterate everything I’ve been saying – albeit more eloquently and with more invective than I ever dared. So… wow. I’m glad someone has the temerity to call these folks out for what they are. Unfortunately, the choir are all in their seats nodding in agreement. The ones who NEED to read your rant will ignore it in their effort to avoid the truth. Do they hate themselves so much that they’re happy to cheer-lead a mob hell bent on destroying America or are they so brainwashed they just don’t see it? Oh well… that’s my typing for the day. Kudos to you!

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