Dear Mr. West,
I saw your recent outburst on the MTV Awards and I have to say, Kanye, very impressive!
It is true that I typically save my obnoxious behavior for issues concerning black folks like yourself – be it President Obama, or when my Confederate flag is in peril – but after enjoying your ridiculously childish and disrespectful tirade at the VMAs, I would like to take you out for a malt beer and some wings.
The brass balls you exhibited by shouting down a skinny 19-year-old white girl tells me you are fully prepared to play with the big boys. I honestly believe that this common ability we share to behave like utter jackasses could even shatter the very color barrier I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to preserve.
Would you like to come to South Carolina on my dime* and spend an afternoon pheasant hunting? We could enjoy some Cracker Barrel afterwards.
Please consider my invitation and respond at your earliest convenience**.
Rep. Joe Wilson – (D***) South Carolina
* denotes the taxpayers will, in fact, pay for Kanye’s visit.
** denotes that “convenience” means that black-devil better get his ass down south.
*** denotes the “D” is for douche, not Democrat. Joe is a proud Republican, even if Republicans are not proud of Joe.