September 14, 2009 at 5:25 am (Entertainers / Entertainment) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dear Mr. West,

I saw your recent outburst on the MTV Awards and I have to say, Kanye, very impressive!

It is true that I typically save my obnoxious behavior for issues concerning black folks like yourself – be it President Obama, or when my Confederate flag is in peril – but after enjoying your ridiculously childish and disrespectful tirade at the VMAs, I would like to take you out for a malt beer and some wings.

The brass balls you exhibited by shouting down a skinny 19-year-old white girl tells me you are fully prepared to play with the big boys.  I honestly believe that this common ability we share to behave like utter jackasses could even shatter the very color barrier I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to preserve.

Would you like to come to South Carolina on my dime* and spend an afternoon pheasant hunting?  We could enjoy some Cracker Barrel afterwards.

Please consider my invitation and respond at your earliest convenience**.

Kind regards,


Rep. Joe Wilson  –  (D***) South Carolina

* denotes the taxpayers will, in fact, pay for Kanye’s visit.

** denotes that “convenience” means that black-devil better get his ass down south.

*** denotes the “D” is for douche, not Democrat.  Joe is a proud Republican, even if Republicans are not proud of Joe.


  1. Howie said,

    Joe Wilson watches the VMA’s? Dang.

    • jdrourke said,

      Sure. Watches them with his “hooded” friends.

  2. Maryscott O'Connor said,

    Dear JD…

    I am newly arrived to your coterie of fans and enjoying this immensely. I have but a teensy issue, but it will eat at me, I fear, until my enjoyment levels diminish at a rapidly increasing rate — like a sweater one discovers was crafted out of one, long, lone strand of wool which has somehow caught itself on a stray nail…

    What I’m saying is, dear heart — your offerings, they are perfect little gems, glistening, nestled against a pillow of velvet with a spotlight of gentle but intense light beamed upon them… and thus even one teensy little typo —

    Yes. I buried the lede.


    If you like, since I’ve grown so inordinately fond of you so very quickly, I’d be happy to proofread your delectable morsels before you click “Post.”

    Or, if these little niggling obsessive-compulsive nagging bitchfest notes don’t bother you… I can just, you know, skip the prosaic bullshit and post stuff like “Yo — typo — exibited.”

    And have done with it.

    What I CANNOT do is just let it pass unremarked. Because… Well, because I am what I am.

    Anyway, keep up the good work, you’re my new favourite read. And I know you don’t know me from a hole in the wall, but trust me when I say… it’s quite the compliment. (Use the Google.)

    • jdrourke said,

      May I simply say, Maryscott, what a fantastic letter that was! Please feel free – as your compulsions allow – to remind me anytime/every time that I screw this little creature of mine up.

  3. Uncle Doo said,

    Yo, JD, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but this is the funniest blog I’ve read in a long time! A LONG TIME!


    • jdrourke said,

      Thanx, Uncle D! Just checked out your site and loved it!

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