Are you guys bat-shit insane!?!
You space-nerds slammed a B-version of the Millennium Falcon into the moon at 6,000 miles an hour, just so we can maybe find out if there’s water, or ice, or fucking Fresca beneath the surface? Are you guys bat-shit insane?
Seriously, NASA, you’re embarrassing us. And by “us” we mean the human race. Sure, we’re already guilty of war, genocide, Michelle Bachmann, and a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine, but for God’s sake – this takes the fucking cake! Are you wannabe Trekkies bat-shit insane?
What if the moon gets hurt? You know it affects our planet’s tides, right? If Lake Tahoe suddenly has 40-foot swells, that shit’s on you! Or what if the moon slowly splits into a hundred pieces, and a huge chunk hurtles towards us and takes out Oklahoma? Actually, that we can live with… But what if the moon isn’t even a moon at all, and suddenly old English dudes and metallic guys who sound like James Earl Jones shoot back at our little planet? This is serious, you goofy pin-heads!
Is there any way you won’t pull this stunt again if we help get you guys laid? We’ll even throw in 6-months free of the SyFy Channel.
And what about the cost? You’ve jettisoned nearly 80 million tax dollars so you kooks can re-enact deleted scenes from the Austin Powers movies. Are you all bat-shit insane?
Really, NASA, this is crazy. And we don’t mean tea-bagger protests or Shepard Smith crazy; we mean Big-Time-End-Of-The-World-Crazy!!
Cut this shit out, right now!
Neil Armstrong AND John Glenn