I’m Talk’n To YOU, Swine Flu!!

November 11, 2009 at 7:14 pm (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers) (, , , , , , , , , )

Yo, Swine Flu?!

Yeah, I’m talk’n to you, Miss Piggy.  What’s with all this posturing you’re doin’?  You got a whole buncha’ people all jittery and sh*t.  You even got CNN, Fox *News, and those newbies at MSNBC all talk’n about you like you’re some kinda badass.

You wanna see a badass?  Then point your bleed’n, puffy eyes at me, tough guy.  I whacked 25 million people in less time than it took the House of Representatives to pass a Health-Care bill.  I had folks crapping in their pants on six continents.

Yet you got these 24-hours news channels all giddy about you, using 50-cent words like “pandemic.”  I got your pandemic, Swine-Boy, right the freak here!

And what’s with these technical numbers and letters you’re using as some kinda scary code?  H1N1?  Are you freak’n kidding me?  You know what “coded” terms I used?  “D.O.A.” and “R.I.P.”

So I’m calling you out, Swine Flu.  No freaking around.  Behind the backstops today at 3 o’clock.  Let’s finally see what you’re really made of, nancy pants.

You can even bring your homo buddies, Avian Flu, SARS, and Monkey Pox.  I’ll beat all of your hyped-up asses!

Be there,


Spanish Influenza


  1. Jerry 1970 said,

    Pretty funny, dude! Morbid, but funny. Actually, Spanish Influenza killed an estimated 30 to 45 million people between 1918 and 1919. Swine flu’s got nothing on it.

  2. ipastor said,

    Si, quien se cree que es porky here !

  3. Chandra2016 said,

    Guess in hindsight, that flu wasn’t too scary. Point well taken, jd.

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