Yo, Swine Flu?!
Yeah, I’m talk’n to you, Miss Piggy. What’s with all this posturing you’re doin’? You got a whole buncha’ people all jittery and sh*t. You even got CNN, Fox *News, and those newbies at MSNBC all talk’n about you like you’re some kinda badass.
You wanna see a badass? Then point your bleed’n, puffy eyes at me, tough guy. I whacked 25 million people in less time than it took the House of Representatives to pass a Health-Care bill. I had folks crapping in their pants on six continents.
Yet you got these 24-hours news channels all giddy about you, using 50-cent words like “pandemic.” I got your pandemic, Swine-Boy, right the freak here!
And what’s with these technical numbers and letters you’re using as some kinda scary code? H1N1? Are you freak’n kidding me? You know what “coded” terms I used? “D.O.A.” and “R.I.P.”
So I’m calling you out, Swine Flu. No freaking around. Behind the backstops today at 3 o’clock. Let’s finally see what you’re really made of, nancy pants.
You can even bring your homo buddies, Avian Flu, SARS, and Monkey Pox. I’ll beat all of your hyped-up asses!