Dear Aughts (00 – 09),
Wow, what a decade. Way to suck far more than not…
Way to lose nearly 10,000 Americans needlessly from a manufactured war (Iraq), a submerged city (New Orleans), and a possibly preventable terrorist act (9/11).
*But on the bright side, most of those Americans who died weren’t wealthy.
Way to systematically tighten the governmental grip on our freedoms; like talking on a phone and being illegally listened to, or protesting the lies of a president and landing on a “watch list”, or voting in an election and then having a hand-picked court step in to decide the outcome anyway.
*But hey, at least we’re doing all we can to keep the government from aiding us with our health.
Way to take the country’s media and turn it into one giant, biased, money-making scheme.
*Were it not for comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert speaking truth to power, we may have zero straight-forward bullshit detectors left.
Way to stay out of the violent quagmire that is Iraq / Iran / Afghanistan / Yemen, and the rest of what is the craziest, most unstable region on the planet.
*It’s not like there were consequences the last time we fucked around in the Middle East, back in the 80’s under Reagan.
Seriously aughts, WTF?! Many Americans were less upset by election fraud, Wall-street greed, and war-profiteering, than they were about Janet Jackson’s exposed booby!
*But again, on the bright side, we do now have Snuggies, 600 cable channels, and Twitter.
So now that your time is up, will you please disappear forever? Honestly, we’d rather have to stare at Ann Coulter’s adam’s apple than have to spend any more time with you.
Now go. And take your Florida recounts, and your Jon & Kate’s, and your Bluetooths, and your bin-Ladens, and your Viagra, and your baconaisse, and your regime-change, and your Jersey Shore, and your Arena Football, and your Enron, and your Transformers with you!!!!!
Go, we say…
Americans Who Know Better