MEMO to John Mayer (from his little friend):

February 13, 2010 at 8:51 pm (Entertainers / Entertainment) (, , , , , , , )


Attn: John Mayer

Hey, Boss Man, WTF?!?  You’re embarrassing me down here every time you open your yap about the women we’ve nailed, er, made love to.

Contrary to what the ladies like to believe, you dudes actually do your thinking with the big head, but invariably it’s we wee-wingmen who get the shit end of the stick when it comes to the reputation (no, that isn’t meant to be a euphemism).

So stop saying so much stupid stuff, Johnny.  I was as offended by your N-bomb drop and David Duke reference as all the single ladies were.  I’m not some white supremacist, JM, and I’ve never participated in anything like a lynching – unless you count that thing you do in the closet with the belts, rope and roast beef.  I am simply 4-and-3/4 inches of hard, throbbing love, merely waiting for the next moment to shine.

Also, what’s with bringing up Benetton?  It is not 1991 anymore.  Half of Milli Vanilli are dead, boss.  Speaking of which, what’d you mean by the whole “sexual napalm” thing?  Is that why it hurts when we pee?

Get it together, Mayer.  Else I may go on strike, ya dig?  Flaccidly speaking.

Yours’ for now,


Le Penis

aka – Mr. Happy, Flipper has a backache, Glandchop, Wicked Willy, The Little Head, Junk, Twig and Berries



  1. MsOfficer said,

    Haha- I see ur point. Take a gander at what I had to say about it & the follow up:

    You might agree


  2. Denise said,

    Mr. Rourke,
    I’m laughing too hard to think straight. Bravo!!
    Ms. Officer, you had me right up until you said you still think he’s hot.
    Massegil product s have NEVER been hot.
    Never, ever, ever.
    Did I forget to say never??????????

  3. Robert Paulsen said,

    Four and 3/4?! I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!

    • Doll said,

      That’s a smart answer to a tricky quteison

  4. Jeronimo Dan said,

    It’s nice to know the only thing Mayer needs once a day, is a bath.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s