MEMO to Islamic Extremists:

April 24, 2010 at 8:31 pm (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers, Politics) (, , , , , , , )


Attn: Extremist Islamic Folk

You all need to chill out!  It’s sweet that you take your religion seriously, but tone down the hyper-violent rhetoric a notch or three.  If the rest of us wanted to witness religious-inspired murder, we’d subscribe to Netflix and watch The Tudors.

So if it’s cool, we want to run a few thoughts past you, as we believe these are VERY IMPORTANT for the well-being of all involved.

a).  Comedy is subjective.  Sure, not everyone is going to find South Park, The Daily Show, or Sean Hannity funny, but there is certainly an audience for them.  We get that you’re protective of Muhammad’s image, but you can’t poke fun at Catholics, Mormons, Teabaggers, or Lutherans and not expect some of the zings to head back your way.  That is simply how humans react to being goofed on.

b).  Embrace the love more than the hate.  You’re not Mississippi Republicans; you’re a part of Islam!  Many good things have come out of your efforts and the Middle East; like oil, and those dates (Mmm, fruit), and, of course, oil.

c).  Finally, if you absolutely must remain radicalized and consumed with anger, it is imperative that before you strap on a suicide bomb for the general public, you first head out to a barren field and run through a full “dress rehearsal” on your terrorist act.  Again, this practice run is to include the actual detonation and to be performed far, far away from everyone else.



The Entire Rest of Humanity



  1. infideldelight said,

    I’m looking forward to Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

  2. Denise said,

    Where’s a good Gospel choir when you need one?

  3. Jaimi said,

    LOL! You show those guys!

  4. The Funpie said,

    Let me know how that fatwa on you works out.

  5. St. Tracy said,

    Mmm… those dates!

    • jdrourke said,

      Very tasty. And great if you’re on the go, or eluding a fatwa…

  6. Durando said,

    Though I myself am a Mississippi Republican, I am not offended by what you said here. Which, in and of itself, is exactly the point you and South Park are trying to make.

    • jdrourke said,

      Hey Durando! You keep that attitude going, and I’m going to have to change Mississippi to Nebraska or Kentucky. Keep checking in with us…

  7. midnight in a perfect world said,

    a coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
    __ gandhi

    jd rourke, sir, you, and most especially your writings, have made my day, which began rather late, and certainly my evening, which also began rather later (and is no longer my evening, but rather my late (or early) morning of the next day. two days made in one shot (or several, since i spent some quality time hooked on *could everyone please stop pissing me off*.) a true pleasure…

    much and many … thanks for the insights. thanks for the laughter. thanks for all that and then some.

    ps denise rocks it well and good.

    • jdrourke said,

      Great quote, “Midnight”. Thanks for the very kind words – it is greatly appreciated. Now, for the love of all that is irreverent, please keep checking in!!

  8. The Independent Rage said,

    The Tudors is a great suggestion. I think they would like that show. Beheadings and burnings aplenty!

  9. The Q said,

    As your (apparently) token Muslim reader, I approve this message.

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