Dear Soccer (Football),

June 13, 2010 at 1:17 am (The Sporting Life) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dear Football (Soccer),

What’s with half the planet getting a collective boner about this World Cup stuff?  It’s just soccer (or football, as some people in parts of Africa and France call it), right?  All people do is run around and kick a ball.  Wow.  Fun.  Yawn.

No offense, but football (or soccer, as some people in parts of Israel and West L.A. call it) seems kinda boring.  You do realize that your games can end in a tie, right?  Snoozefest.  Hell, there aren’t even commercial breaks for Coors Light, Doritos, or Valtrex!

Seriously, we don’t get it.  Kicking a ball.  Woo-hoo.  Lame.

Fairly Unimpressed,


Golf, Ice Curling, Pool, Chessboxing, Ping-Pong, Bowling, Poker, Cup Stacking, Logrolling, Kickball, Competitive Hot Dog Eating, & NASCAR



  1. Denise said,

    Chessboxing? Nerds with pocket-protectors, duking it out in their tightie-whiteys?
    THAT sounds kind of interesting!

  2. Denise said,

    OMG, I just googled it ……slap my ass and call me Sally, it does exist !!!!!! Wow. It’s not too often I’m nearly speechless.Chessboxing.

  3. Leti said,

    Chessboxing?! I wanna see THAT!

  4. Joe said,

    My Dear Friend… u either love or hate??……friends or enemies??……us or them??…….my friend there is a lot of DISTANCE between these extremes!!

    Tie is no big deal.

    What if in a game none deserved to win or lose?

    • jdrourke said,

      Hey Joe – thanks for checking in. Brother, I am so in you cannot imagine! I have loved soccer since I was knee-high to our first pet dog. In America, this beautiful game doesn’t receive the respect it most-definitely deserves, so I thought I’d point out some ridiculous sports (in my and many others opinions) and show the hypocrisy… Keep enjoying the Cup!!

  5. Joe said,

    Oh…okay…i thought u are one of those soccer haters…..LOL

    i am just tired of pointing out this “tie” thing to many people.

    Nice to meet u.

    • jdrourke said,

      Believe me, Joe, so am I. What’s funny is that often a “tie” is the result of a very well-played match – though many people cannot wrap their heads around this…

      Good to meet you, too.

      • Denise said,

        Come on now, Mr. Rourke……it’s simply un-American to like a sport that is popular with immoral, socialist Europeans, and un-American not seek the total and complete domination of your opponent.

        And every time a game ends in a tie, a terrorist gets his 72 Virgins.

      • jdrourke said,

        Denise! I love you!!!


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