Dear Impatient Americans,

September 13, 2010 at 10:40 pm (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers, Politics) (, , , )

To All Those Who Think Our Country’s Problems Should Be Fixed By Now:

We’d like you to conduct a simple experiment in your house, apartment, mobile home, tent-city plot, or mansion:  Grab a stop-watch, clock, egg-timer, or brown-skinned employee and have them count off 8 minutes.  8 full minutes.

During those 8 minutes we’d like you to – by yourself – go through your current residence and trash the shit out of it!  Hit all the rooms (or room, if you’re one of those lame poor people) and really mess things up.  Seriously, you have exactly 8 minutes to make your place look like a tornado, hurricane, earthquake, Godzilla, or Honey Boo Boo came through.

Once you’re completely done, take a moment to catch your breath.  Looks pretty grim around you, doesn’t it?  Well, chill out for a second and have a glass of water, Gatorade, Pepsi, moonshine, or Perrier.

Okay, now put 4 more minutes on the clock, stop-watch, brown person, whatever.  4 minutes.  Ready?  Okay.  Clean up your mess.  Seriously, clean up the mess you made in those 8 minutes within 4 short minutes…

Can’t do it, can you?  Know why?  Because messed-up shit takes a long time to fucking fix!

Now apply this same kind of logic to our country’s current state-of-affairs.

Bush/Cheney/Rove took 8 loooong years to destroy everything that wasn’t attached to an already wealthy person.  Obama/Biden just finished patching the hole in the roof, and are currently sweeping up in the kitchen and taking the empties out of the bathtub and toilet.

If you really want to be frustrated and angry with someone about America’s “slow” recovery, then find those who voted for Bush and Cheney in 2004 (by which time they truly should have known better) and give them a stern “talking to.”

Now calm down and get back to being fucking reasonable…



Patience & Common Sense



  1. Ladyblug said,

    I LOVE YOUR RANTS. You need a larger audience, and I will do my part. Thanks.

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks so much, Ladyblug! You are awesome for saying such a cool thing.


  2. GaryLindquist said,

    Nice one. Won’t convince anyone who has already been convinced that President Obama is not doing his job, but I appreciate your efforts.

    You could have gone a step further with the two-minute cleanup and noted that as you spent your two minutes trying to clean up the mess, there are two or three fellas running around the house trying to make more messes, which is exactly what the Republicans are trying to do now.

    In any event, love your writings.

  3. Howie said,

    That was a great post…

  4. Tony Maxwell said,

    Y’know, patience and common sense are two qualities that I sorely lack in my own self; however, after experiencing and living through the laundry list of bush-created disasters him & his admin was allowed to indulge in for two agonizingly long terms, even MY severe A.D.D. and extra-low tolerance level barely even registers in regards to the ‘impatience’ that a mere two-and-a-half years of a new Presidency that has so many others stomping and hollering about and which JD so eloquently addresses.

    The analogy given above condenses a point I would have needed three college-ruled pages to scribble out in a rage, which is why jd has a site and I don’t; GaryLindquist also puts a fine point on it.

    I agree with all the neocons who say the President has over-used the ‘problems that were inherited’ term to justify the slow recovery of our country, which should logically lead one to wonder why exactly the word ‘recovery’ is also being used so much. If they had gone with my original suggestion, “the unholy sack of shit that the bushies left after dumping it on the nation,” maybe the “Patient, Common Sense” letter wouldn’t be necessary today. But to answer my own sentence: it wasn’t used, so jd’s letter to the Impatient Americans is sadly, but in fact, necessary. Much thanks for putting it in a more civilized communication than I would have ever been able to manage.

    It may go unrecognized by the very people it’s intended for, but it also needs to be on the record whether they pay attention to it or not.

  5. St Tracy said,

    So friggin’ righteous! I love it!

  6. Denise said,

    You have touched such a raw nerve, JD, I can’t even begin to articulate it.
    Stupidity abounds in the good old USA. I spent my morning e-mailing my local schoolboard and state senators and representatives to voice my displeasure with the ridiculous robo-call placed district wide by our school system to WARN parents that President Obama would be addressing the nation’s schoolchildren today, and that if you don’t want your children exposed to his IslamoFascistGrannyGassingNigger ass you better SEND A NOTE or your kid is going to be exposed to worse things than they would at a Satanist Ritual Sacrifice.!!!!!! Fucking asshats.
    It’s a really sad commentary when dissing the President is now part of your school’s robo-call repertoire.

  7. Ania said,

    No guffaws here today, but a satisfying dose of Rourkery to relieve another media-induced headache. Walk tall, JD, walk tall…

    Seriously, tho, looking back down more years than most of you here probably can boast, it took more like 50 minutes to an hour to create the mess we’re in today. And my experience has been that, despite the fact that people seem to think instant gratification is an attainable goal, it usually takes longer to clean up a mess than to create it. And that’s assuming one already knows HOW to accomplish the cleanup, a doubtful assumption IMO. Probably won’t see it in my lifetime; I wish longevity for the rest of you!

    PS: I agree with Ladybug.

  8. Sal said,

    Your post has been tweeted:

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanks, Sal. The more we can remind people of why our country is really in trouble – the better!


  9. Tweets that mention Dear Impatient Americans, « Could Everyone Please Stop Pissing Me Off? -- said,

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by NoMooseStew and Susie, Lehigh389. Lehigh389 said: Dear Impatient Americans,…Bush/Cheney took 8 yrs to destroy everything that wasn’t… . #votedem […]

  10. Zzeltar said,

    Thank you! You are really helping our country with your great ideas and attitude! Let’s save our country before the Republican/Teaparty take it back…and fully destroy it! Vote Democrat, save us!

    • jdrourke said,

      Hey Zzeltar,

      Thanks very much for the kind words – it means a lot! Let’s keep fighting the good fight together, and feel free to chime in anytime – whether you agree or not.


  11. Zzeltar said,

    JD, I saw something today that REALLY impressed me: I was at the gas station and I saw something written on the pump- REPUBLICAN/TEAPARTY: FEAR, HATE & NO HELP! This is an amazing statement, I want to tell everyone about it! It also gives me great hope because I think others are aware of the Republican/Teaparty scam. I am going to start saying this statement to everyone, pass the word!

  12. PamB said,

    I’ve been checking out the site for a little while and I love your rants!! You not only put into words what I’ve been thinking but you always make me laugh out loud. Keep doin’ whatcha do so well.

    • jdrourke said,

      More than glad to hear (read) that, Pam – thanx very much! Feel free to add to the kookiness any time you want…


  13. Thomas E. Schmitt said,

    That short, sweet analogy, said it all!!!! If Jack-ass George took 8yrs. to screw up the American economy, fair play means it should take Mr. Obama 8yrs. to fix it. Not only is he doing a lot, he’s doing it w/o any help from the Redneck / Born -again, Neo-Nazi Christian F*cks (NNCF). It’s all about race, no matter what he does, it will always be discredited by the RWNJ.

  14. Taylor Siluwé said,

    Brilliant and dead-on accurate! You’re amazing…

    • jdrourke said,

      Thanx very much, Taylor! Feel free to visit any time you want…


  15. Cynta Ehrlich said,

    In principle. But when you look around at the piles and decide, oh, that one’s too big (campaign/financial/tax reform), or I like that trashed-up look after all (Gitmo, Afraq), and decide to just do a light dusting to spruce up the place… Just sayin’

    • jdrourke said,

      Okay, nice response, C.E. The “light dusting” made my morning.


  16. Manuel Morgan said,

    You should add having someone nag you on how poorly your cleaning is, during the four minutes.

    Great analogy!

    • JD Rourke said,

      Now THAT’S a great point, Manuel! Hope you are well, my friend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s