MEMO to A. Weiner:

June 7, 2011 at 12:24 am (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers, Politics) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


Attn: Rep. Anthony Weiner, a.k.a. Possibly the Dumbest Guy in the House of Reps.

It’s not that you make way-too-much money as a politician, or that you were placing personal Porky’s-styled indulgences ahead of properly representing the people of New York –

It’s not that you tweeted pics of your schlong to co-eds, or e-mailed shots of your bare chest like some kind of nebbish version of Conan the Barbarian to various ladies around the country –

Heck, it’s not even that you lied to the press and spun the facts for days, rivaling former President Bill Clinton for “Dumbest Sexually Ambiguous Statements Ever” –

It’s that you did all these things with your last name being W-E-I-N-E-R!

And that level of stunningly poor judgement, Anthony, kind of makes you a…  well, it kind of makes you a giant dick!!

Seriously, Weiner.  Thank you so-very-much for the endless penile-related fodder.  You truly are an epic tool.

With deep gratitude,


Comedians & Giggly Americans Everywhere


  1. St. Tracy said,

    Giggly indeed!!

  2. Milli D. said,

    Wooohahahahahaha – so funny – I LOVE it.

    And he is SO terribly sorry for all the pain he caused to his family, his wife whom he loves so very very much, and his constituents and blah blah blah…

    Co’mon now, let’s get real about it, the ONLY thing Wiener is sorry about is that he got CAUGHT!!!!

  3. Robert Paulsen said,

    I’ve been telling him he needs to change the spelling of his name like I did to something more innocuous sounding, like Weihner, then tell everyone it’s actually pronounced WAY-ner. Works for me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a text to send.


    The Speaker of the House

  4. dcmartin said,

    LMAO @ Robert Paulsen.
    Bravo, JD!

  5. George Frideric said,

    Does anyone else find it ironic that the most talked-about Representative in Congress is named Weiner and the most powerful member of the House of Representatives is named Boehner?

  6. Logi said,

    @ robert paulson

    sorry no – it’s pronounced Y-ner (y as as the letter alone) – it could (but not necessarily needs to) mean someone whoe weeps (weinen = to weep)

    your Way-ner would be spelled wehner in german – we had one of ‘those’ – well he was sorta one of a kind (stub!)

    @ jdrourke

    found you blog by coincedance – need to say some things i don’t understand (hey i’m a kraut) – some wouldn’t be worth mentioning here, but all in all i have to say you restored at least some confidance in america for me

    • jdrourke said,

      Good to have you around, Logi! For dog’s sake, keeping checking in and sounding off…

  7. BJMallory said,

    Reminds me of an old SNL sketch with Nicholas Cage. He played a guy who was sitting down with his pregnant wife trying to pick out baby names. He kept shooting down every normal name she came up with, saying the kids at school would tease their son for having a name like “Jack” (“Oh sure! ‘Jack-O’LANTERN! We’re gonna kick the crap outta ya!!'”) So then there’s a knock on the door and it’s Rob Schneider delivering a telegram for “Mr. & Mrs. uh…Asswipe…?” Nic Cage grabs the telegram and angrily corrects him, saying, “It’s ‘Aus-wee-peh!'”

  8. Milli Denney said,

    O HOW I MISS YOU, JDROURKE!!!! Just read your post out loud to my hb and we both have belly pain and tears of laughing on our face.

    I admit it, we don’t get out much…

    • JD Rourke said,

      Absolutely great to hear from you! Here’s hoping you’re well and that Mr. Weiner keeps up the stoopidity for us all to mock…

  9. Lex said,

    He just can’t let it go. Or stop showing it off!

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