Attn: Rep. Anthony Weiner, a.k.a. Possibly the Dumbest Guy in the House of Reps.
It’s not that you make way-too-much money as a politician, or that you were placing personal Porky’s-styled indulgences ahead of properly representing the people of New York –
It’s not that you tweeted pics of your schlong to co-eds, or e-mailed shots of your bare chest like some kind of nebbish version of Conan the Barbarian to various ladies around the country –
Heck, it’s not even that you lied to the press and spun the facts for days, rivaling former President Bill Clinton for “Dumbest Sexually Ambiguous Statements Ever” –
It’s that you did all these things with your last name being W-E-I-N-E-R!
And that level of stunningly poor judgement, Anthony, kind of makes you a… well, it kind of makes you a giant dick!!
Seriously, Weiner. Thank you so-very-much for the endless penile-related fodder. You truly are an epic tool.
With deep gratitude,
Comedians & Giggly Americans Everywhere