Dear Film Critic Rex Reed,

February 8, 2013 at 5:47 pm (Entertainers / Entertainment) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dear Rex Reed (film critic),

“Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success.”  – Rex Reed

Wow – take it easy, Mr. Reed-Critic-Guy!  In addition to describing actress/comedian Melissa McCarthy as a “gimmick,” you then go on to call her a “female hippo” and to describe her as “tractor-sized.”

Look, we get it, Rex.  You’re exhausted.  You are literally old enough to have attended the premiere for Gone with the Wind.  And you’ve had to sit through endless dreck for several decades; ranging from I Spit On Your Grave to Silver Linings Playbook.  Who wouldn’t turn into a Walt Kowalski-type crank after so much cinematic garbage?!

But why go after Melissa McCarthy and make it so personal?  What the hell did she ever do to you, other than already make more people laugh in her short time in the public eye than you have in the past six or seven decades?

If you don’t like the movie [Identity Thief] or the lead actress [Mrs. McCarthy], then just write why in a way that say, maybe critiques the film and not a star’s waist line or girth.  Most of us don’t attend the movies to merely gawk at skinny, nubile bodies.  That’s what the internet is for…

Let’s tone down the personal attacks, okay?  Do you want someone pointing out that you’re so fey you make Harvey Fierstein come off like Stallone?  Or that you’re so bitchy you make Tommy Lee Jones appear affable?  It’s not much fun is it?  Though to be fair, it is more enjoyable than the average Kevin James vehicle.

So take a break if you need to from seeing everything Hollywood pumps out on a weekly basis.  Trust us; Joel Schumacher, John Singleton, Michael Bay, Wes Craven, Adam Sandler, and Katherine Heigl are still going to create dog-crap movies.  And more often than not Steven Spielberg will continue to make pretty darn good ones.

Now go lie down for a while, Rex, and close your eyes.  Clearly, you’re feeling assholeish.

Feeling protective,

.

Glass Houses

   

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5 Comments

  1. St. Tracy said,

    But I like Wes Craven…
    Also, I can’t believe Rex is still alive…

    • JD Rourke said,

      Honestly, I think even Rex was surprised to learn that he was still alive…

  2. Pax333 said,

    I’m not only surprised he’s still alive I’m still trying to figure out why he didn’t off himself after Myra Breckenridge. Sad little man has become an old school cliche, I suppose the realization he’ll never be Gore Vidal or Noel Coward has to sting.

    Great post, as always, but extra points for using ‘fey’ so brilliantly!

  3. Pax333 said,

    I don’t have time for a deep search so this link has to come with directions but check out the first photo, it’s of Rex and a lady friend. I think. “Really, Rex?”….pretty much covers it. Capote without the talent.

    http://isearch.avg.com/images?s=sideNav&cid=13C6E367-9D24-4FE7-BCBA-238E83DE7645&mid=1171618cb09747d1a2c2d15f30e2bc3d-226b02eb9df3f260b0777d41ef1eddc09f974f4a&ds=AVG&lang=en&v=14.0.0.14&sg=&pid=avg&pr=fr&d=2013-01-20+22%3a16%3a32&sap=dsp&q=Susan+Bender-Scheer+and+Rex+Reed+

    • JD Rourke said,

      “Capote without the talent.” Very well said, Pax333!

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