Dear Glenwood Gardens Independent Living Facility,

March 5, 2013 at 3:30 pm (Daily Headaches and Rage Inducers) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

It’s now the call heard across the country.  It was placed from Glenwood Gardens last Tuesday.  A nurse calls in to report 87-year-old Lorraine Bayless, who does not have a DNR, is barely breathing on the ground.  Despite the 911 operator’s pleas, the nurse refuses to perform CPR saying it’s against company policy.


Dear Glenwood Gardens Assisted Living Facility,

Saw on the local news the big kerfuffle over your recent decision – and standing policy – to not personally help one of your elderly residents after she collapsed and lie dying on the floor of Glenwood Gardens and then, ultimately, passed away.

At first I was confused by your actions and by the fact that you describe yourself as an “Assisted, Independent Living Facility.”  But then I realized that you must be using those words in a more sarcastic or ironic way to push your agenda; kinda like the “Clear Skies Initiative,” “No Child Left Behind,” or “Dancing with the Stars.”

Very clever, Glenwood Gardens.  You fool older folks and their families into thinking they’re getting one thing, when in reality they’re getting something else entirely: Bingo, Jell-O, Indifference, Death.  Now I’ve got it…

I wish I had been more “creative” with how I advertised myself and my services; then I might have avoided so much time in court and in The Big House (where, oddly enough, they’ll also sometimes stand around and watch “residents” die).

Anyway, kudos to you and your clever bait-and-switch marketing, Glenwood Gardens.



Jack Kevorkian


  1. Pax333 said,

    WTF? That there is even a company “policy” that says you do not assist a fallen resident is shocking enough but that anyone, much less a registered nurse, would follow it…….color this cynical ol’ bitch stunned!

    The ensuing lawsuits should be interesting as I’m at a loss how the defence will justify a) the policy and b) yes, my client is an idiot but it’s not her fault it’s the policy and c) (my personal favorite) It’s the fault of the victim for being able to live independently in one of our expensive apartments and not in one of our more expensive actual care units.

    Maybe Nurse Ratchet’s evil twin was Dr. Mengle’s assistant in her last life?

    So, to be clear, we can’t choose for ourselves when to end our lives but we can count on this dump to do nothing to stop it? A selling feature cometh the time.

    • JD Rourke said,

      Aw, Pax333, you do me proud. Anytime you can reference both Dr. Mengele and Nurse Ratchet in the same sentence is equal parts impressive and delightful.

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