Could Everyone Please Stop Pissing Me Off?

Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger,

May 18, 2011 at 10:52 pm (Entertainers / Entertainment, Politics) (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austria should take Schwarzenegger back, CNN, CNN ticker, Fox News, Governor Arnold Scharzenegger lied to the people of California, Judgment day for Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver, Mildred Patricia Baena, MSNBC, Schwarzenegger has affair and child, Schwarzenegger used tax-payer money to have chp and security detail hide affairs)

Dear Former Governor Schwarzenegger,

Hey Arnold, how’s it hanging?  Actually, don’t answer that – we’ll just assume things are rocky right now.

While we mostly agree Maria got a raw deal where all this “adultery” stuff is concerned, you’re our boy and we’re sticking with you through the end of days.

That said, we finally got a good look at your illegitimate baby mama and we gotta say – as buddies who kinda understand – what the fuck, Schwarz?  That’s the best you could do?!  You live in Hollywood, Arnie.  You can’t swing a high-def camera around without hitting some hottie extra or B-movie babe!

Have all those years of steroids screwed up your decision-making that much?  We mean, we’re able to forgive your choices when it came to one or two of your movies – say Red Sonja, The Last Action Hero, T – 3, Junior, The 6th Day, *Maid in L.A. 2 – the Sperminator, Conan the Destroyer, Scavenger Hunt, Hercules In New York, Red Heat – but this kind of impaired judgement leads us to believe you need a serious intervention and break from the daily pressures of your wealthy-living, elitist life.

Seriously, we’re worried about you, Arnold.  Give us a call.  Thinking of hitting Hooters Thursday night – why not come?

Worried,

.

Jesse James, Newt Gingrich, John Edwards, John McCain, John Ensign, Jimmy Swaggart, Tony Parker, Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, A-Rod, Charlie Sheen, Bill Clinton, Billy Crudup, Tiger Woods, and Pastor Ted Haggard

*P.S. – We know Maid In L.A. 2 – the Sperminator isn’t a real flick.  Gingrich & Woods thought it’d be hilarious to include it…

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