Top Marketing Ideas for the Los Angeles Clippers Season
{Memo from NBA Clippers owner Donald Sterling concerning the 2014 – 2015 season and new, fun ways to market his team}
MEMO
These are my top ideas for how to fully capitalize on the 2014 – 2015 season, and shine a bright, white light on the Clippers.
– D. Sterling
Idea 1: “Associate with an African-American Night.” I think this could be an interesting way for us to prove we’re not afraid to associate with them [the blacks]. I would still prefer they [people of color] not be allowed to attend the games, but if we’re able to convey our willingness to be associated, then this could go a long way toward us eventually tolerating them [maybe].
Idea 2: “Pre-Game TED Talks featuring Cliven Bundy and Phil Robertson.” I believe mixing athletics with inspirational speakers could be a terrific way to enlighten the masses as to why older, white men are truly the definitive example when it comes to exceptionalism.
Idea 3: “Free Cotton-Picking Candy Night.” Self explanatory.
Idea 4: “Kiss Cams featuring Couples of Mixed Race.” By “mixed,” I mean wealthy, white men and their much, much younger mistresses.
Idea 5: “Half-Time Lectures on the True Meaning of Ownership.” Again, this should be self-explanatory.
Idea 6: “Post-Game Screenings of Glory, Roots, and 12 Years a Slave.” In my opinion, when people leave the venue happy and with smiles on their faces, they’re far more likely to become repeat customers / fans. Besides, who doesn’t love a good comedy?
I’d like to get your thoughts on these suggestions asap.
Your owner / boss-man,
.
Donald Sterling