Dearest Sarah Palin,
Dear Sarah Palin,
We were going to address you as “Governor” Sarah Palin, but then quit halfway through. So we’ll keep it simple and just call you Sarah. Besides, this way sounds a bit more folksy.
We wanted to commend you – much as it grinds our gears, so to speak, to do so – and give you “props” for actually being right about a couple of things. And by “right” we mean correct.
Firstly, even though it’s taken us years to admit this, we figured we’d finally chime in and say you were correct to quit the governorship of Alaska. Honestly, based on the way fellow Republican Governors have pooped the bed (Mike Pence – Indiana; Paul LaPage – Maine; Scott “Koch” Walker – Wisconsin) and driven their respective states into the ground (Bobby Jindal – Louisiana; Rick Snyder – Michigan; Rick Scott – Flo Rida), your choice to abandon The Last Frontier State and head for Hollywood was absolutely the correct, greedy, shrewd move.
And we’re not even going to mention how Repub Governor Sam Brownback has literally (yes, correct usage) turned Kansas into a financially bankrupt Narco-state (it’s like Mexico without the good food or pinatas). Maybe Donald Trump could erect a wall around Kansas as practice for future Xenophobic projects. You know, “Make America 49 States Again.”
So, well done on quitting, Sarah. You did the right thing. Spike Lee would be proud (sorry – he’s black, we’ll try to find someone else you’d be more comfortable around).
The second thing you’ve proven yourself correct on is just how lame the media truly is. Really, Sarah, it’s impressive just how “spot on” you were with that assessment. Who would ever have thought that CNN, Fox *News, and MSNBC would give Donald J. Trump sooooo much more air-time than any of the other Presidential candidates?! Or that 8 years after Barack Obama and Joe Biden thrashed John McCain and his running mate, we’d still see You receiving coverage on anything even remotely political?!? Seriously, that makes as much sense as going to Lance Armstrong for advice on how to compete ethically. The only conclusion we can draw from this is that, darnit, The Media Really Is LAME.
Once again, Sarah, kudos for getting those two things correct. When you’re right, you’re usually wrong, but in these two instances, you nailed it, sister!
Impressed,
Broken Clocks
That’s quite enough, Liberal Media!
Dear Mainstream Liberal Media,
You bleeding-heart clowns have had your way for so darn long, it is impossible to decipher the truth from your insidious left-leaning-lies!
All you weak-kneed liberals do is attack and misrepresent, distort and re-hash; blurring good facts like a Harvard grad’s eyes after an evening of expensive, elitist beer.
The examples are endless, so here are just a few:
1). You barely even mentioned Bill Clinton’s sexual indiscretions, allowing the 42nd President free reign to pass health-care and to kill bin-Laden. You then totally ignored Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner’s love of sending out nudie pics, while constantly hounding Republican Senator David Vitter’s use of tax dollars to bang hookers…
2). You endlessly grilled the Bush / Cheney administration, thereby keeping them from taking the U.S. into a necessary war in Iraq, as well as stopping them from listening to Americans illegally…
3). You totally ignored Republican V.P. candidate Sarah Palin so much that she had to resort to opening a page on The Facebook and The Twitter just to be heard…
4). You’ve completely ignored the critics of our current president (the one from Kenya) and allowed him to re-pass health-care, let white teens get beat-up, and to say anything he darn well wants to without so much as a twitter…
And if these examples didn’t prove our point, you sons-of-guns also have MSNBC and its thousands of viewers…
Someday, when we have the power to be heard, we’ll even the score. But until then, shame on you, Liberal media. Shame on YOU…
The Quiet Underdogs,
.
Rush Limbaugh, Bill “Papa Bear” O’Reilly, Chris Wallace, Ann Coulter, Matt Drudge, Larry Elder, Sean Hannity, Dick Morris, Michelle Malkin, George Will, Ted Nugent, Michael Savage, Laura Ingraham, Laura Schlessinger, Laura Ingalls Wilder*, Glenn Beck, Lou Dobbs, Bill Kristol, Doug McIntyre, Rupert Murdoch, Rupert Pupkin*, Andrew Breitbart, The Wall Street Journal, NewsMax, The Washington Post, The behemoth that is FOX News Corp., and more than 85% of all Talk-Radio Programs…
*Note: We realize Laura Ingalls Wilder is no longer alive, but she was from “middle America.” We also realize Rupert Pupkin is fictitious, but he seemed like he’d make a good extremist.
Man’s Finger Bitten Off in Scuffle at Health Care Rally
KTLA News
12:58 AM PDT, September 3, 2009
THOUSAND OAKS — A 65-year-old man had his finger bitten off Wednesday evening at a health care rally in Thousand Oaks, according to the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department.
The finger-biting incident occurred after a member of the group protesting health care reform, William Rice, 65, of Newbury Park, became involved in a heated discussion with a member of Code Pink, sheriff’s Capt. Ross Bonfiglio said.
Dear Guy Missing His Fingertip,
Hope you have really good health insurance.
Best,
The American Taxpayer
Could Everyone Please Stop Pissing Me Off? 